Weakness

Wed 5th May 2010

I’m not a big fan of feeling weak. Certainly not a big fan of acknowledging any kind of weakness! Strange that the bible says that it’s in our weakness that God’s power can be more clearly seen and experienced. (2Cor12:9)
So last week I had a stomach bug, an evil stomach bug from the pit of hell! Vomit so violent my body bent double as my system tried it’s hardest to rid itself od every last bit of fusili pasta I had for my tea. Now I’ve no problem with that, being sick, it was the fact that it took me like 3 days to recover, still feeling “weal”
This was compounded by having the builders in. Whilst I wasn’t bothered about the noise, it was the fact that every time I saw them they asked “How are you?” Macho men who make their living being hard, and my response was “still feel a bit weak”, ahhh I hate admitting it. So much so I started to fake being better, just so they didn’t think I was too much of a Jessie.
This difficulty in being weak or admitting weakness show actually how much I get my significance from being able, from being capable from being strong (obviously not my biceps but other ways). That I truly do think it’s in some way all about me and my ability. If I think I’m responsible for my weakness then I must also think I’m responsible for my strength? Oh the danger of self sufficiency.
As Josie said the other day I need to learn the weakness lesson quick so God doesn’t have to anything drastic to teach me!