Please notice my glasses!....

I figure if I'm going to blog, let's be really real, no matter how embarrassing it may be. So the time had come to get some new glasses. It's been 2 1/2 years since I bought this current pair which were an exact replacement of the pair I'd had previously. They were getting a bit scratched, worn and let's face it were out of date about 4 years ago. But, this isn't just replacing glasses, oh no this was a whole image change, will people recognise me, what will people think? Will this signify a new season in my life, a new era of looking... more grown up? More serious? Seriously I put lots of thought into it. In my head I had this image that somehow needed to be maintained or developed. So I bought them, they are green and much less obvious. Then I wore them..... but it was as if no one noticed. Sure the occasional comment, but don't people realise this is a major change, I need comments, I need compliments, I need so much more. It was as if most people didn't even notice. Note to self and anyone who may read this: you really aren't as important to everyone else as you are to yourself. Most people aren't thinking about what you're wearing, how your hair is cut, so stop worrying about it yourself. It's true isn't it? We spend varying amounts of time wondering and worrying about what people will think about our hair, clothes, car, make up (girls,mostly) all sorts of stuff and the truth is most people don't notice. Now if only Jesus had something about this we'd all be a lot freer wouldn't we? Something about not worrying about what we wear etc. Man he missed a trick there.....

Prayer - pleasure or duty?

The other Sunday around 4pm Josie and I had this discussion around who was going to deeper prayer, which is basically the one prayer meeting our church has each month. To be honest it was one of those polite stand offs where suddenly we both felt a calling to put the kids to bed. In the end I got what felt at the time like the short straw even though deep down my spirit knew it wasn't the short one my soul was convinced of it. I even said to my brother who doesn't believe in God that I was going out of obligation. Those words kind of got stuck in my throat and I felt bad for saying them never mind thinking them. So the question this raises is why is this the case? Fact - I've never come home from a prayer meeting wishing I hadn't gone. Fact - Ive always been glad I've gone at times über glad. You could say ecstatic. Fact - I always feel better for having gone. So if all of that is true, which I know it is, why do I and no doubt many others wrestle with it so much? You would think that if something is that good, it would be a no-brainer, yet still there is a battle. My biggest struggle in my walk with God is moving from that place of duty to pleasure in my prayer life. I so often pray because I should and not because of the sheer joy I experience. I've read the books, listened to the talks, tried all sorts. I guess for now I just have to hope that my spirit wins more times than my soul!